Growing Girls January 27, 2009

I look at Hannah and Kate everyday and can’t believe how fast they are growing.  I used to look at them in the NICU and never be able to fathom them being normal weight babies one day and now I look at them and cannot fathom them ever being one and two pounds.  Most parents don’t get the “privilege” (not exactly the right word) of watching their babies grow from a weight that was never meant to be experienced outside of the womb to normal weights.  I see these precious little girls who have overcome so many odds against them and it amazes me how normal they are.  They are totally healthy thus far and that is all to the glory of God.  They are sleeping very consistently through the night.  If there are any new moms out there reading this feeling like their baby is never going to sleep through the night and they are never going to get a full night’s sleep again…you will get there.  After four months of broken sleep, we are finally there.  While I don’t feel completely rested, it is nice because it is really difficult to nap during the day.

George is doing good.  He is still at home.  The doctor thinks that he will be back at work within the next one to two weeks. 

We made it to church this past Sunday…both services…on time…no major meltdowns.  Praise the Lord.  It was so wonderful to be back at church and have Hannah and Kate there.  It felt normal.  We sat with the girls at the 9:30 service until about 10 when they have to eat.  Sarah, my sister, agreed to help me feed them so we sat through the rest of the service in the nursing mothers room.  I nursed Kate while Sarah gave Hannah a bottle and everything worked well.  It was hard to pay attention to the sermon, but I caught little snippets.  George was great as he took very detailed notes for me.  Then, we headed off to bible fellowship class.  Kate slept through the whole thing and Hannah slept through most of it.  A lot of our friends got to see them for the first time.  It felt good to be “home.”  We’ve received so much encouragement and prayers from our church staff and friends and it feels nice to be able to share how God has worked through those prayers with everyone. 

Here are some pictures of the girls over the last couple of days.  Kate got to wear jeans for the first time yesterday.  She looked so grown up.  They both are using the baby tub without the sling.  They are actually sitting in the tub now.  Enjoy!

Hannah

Hannah

Hannah

Hannah

Hannah

How I found Kate this morning

Kate

Kate

Kate Reading

Kate Reading during Tummy Time

Kate

Lots of Thoughts January 21, 2009

One of the things that I appreciate in other people’s blogs is raw honesty.  It ministers to me to know that someone else went through or is going through something that I am currently dealing with and that I am not alone in my feelings.  I have had a couple of sisters in Christ who have been very honest with their feelings through their valleys and it has been so encouraging to me.  It also helps me to know that Christians are real people, too.

With that in mind, most of my recent posts have just been the facts about life, but this last week and a half has been an emotional roller coaster for me.  I have been trying to sort through all of the feelings that have been going through my mind (you women will understand how messy things can get up there), while trying to remain sane at the same time.  Life has been so busy and “different” for us that I don’t know that I have really had time to take it all in and adjust to it.  When you picture expanding your family, you never picture twins or NICU.  I think my mind has finally gotten to the point where I have realized that reality is not meshing with my expectations.  I no longer know what normal is for our family, all I know is that it wasn’t what I expected.  My expectations of normal included going to church every Sunday with the girls, going grocery shopping, being able to clean my house more than once a month, breastfeeding until they were a year old, going out in public, etc.  None of this is my reality.  That all came crashing in with the guilt of not being a good mother and trying hard enough, along with the realization that my little preemies are no longer preemies.  Most of you know that I have been debating breastfeeding and formula and after talking to some people have finally come to the peace that I’ll pump what I can and supplement with formula.  I did go to a La Leche League meeting to see how I could increase my supply.  Their answer was to feed every 1.5 to 2 hours until they are about 8 months old.  Crazy, huh?  That may work for some families, but I prefer to keep them more on a predictable routine.  This allows them and me more rest and I can be more productive throughout my day.  I did try to breastfeed for 2 days every 2 hours and after that I went back to pumping.  Honestly, pumping for me is familiar.  As weird as it sounds, it’s almost like a security blanket.  It was the one thing that I could really do for them while they were in the NICU and I felt good about producing so much milk.  I know how to do it.  I was worrying myself into anxiety over whether or not to keep breastfeeding.  After talking a lot to my mom (she’s the best), I realized that it’s okay to let go of the expectations I had of breastfeeding for  a year and do what I felt was best for me and the girls. 

I also really really miss church.  We have been probably a handful of times since the girls have been home.  Church was so predictable and normal for us before we had the girls and I miss having somewhere where I could go to worship and fellowship with other believers.  I also hadn’t been doing my quiet time and I think God has brought me to a point again where I long for time with Him.  I am desperate for Him.  We have been waiting on the girls to get their Synagis shots, which protect them from RSV, because we switched insurance companies and they had to be approved by the new company.  We are finally getting them tomorrow, so I am determined to be at both service and bible fellowship on Sunday.  It may be hectic, but we need to be in church. 

It’s hard to explain the roller coaster I’ve been on this past week because I’m not sure that even I understand it all.  It’s like our lives have been on pause because we haven’t been able to really get out, but the girls are still growing up and everyone else’s life is still on play.  The Lord has really been telling me to forget what is behind and keep my eyes fixed on what is now and to come.  So anyway…I share all of this for the benefit of those who may think that there is no one else going through similar feelings.  Someone from church has been through a similar NICU experience and she acknowledged this past week that she knew how HARD it was to be out of church for the health of her girl and to just hear someone who has been there before affirm my feelings helped me to know that it was okay for me to feel this way.

George is slowly but surely on his way to normal health.  He still finds it hard to walk on his leg, but he’s doing better.  He’ll probably be out of work for at least another week.  He goes back to the doctor tomorrow.  He is bored out of his mind being cooped up at home though and I completely understand.  I’ll be glad when he is able to help out around the house more and simply put the girls to bed.  I know that he’s really looking forward to getting back to work, too.

Hannah and Kate are doing great.  They both love to smile and will probably soon be giggling.  Hannah let out the biggest squeal the other day.  Kate is 12 lbs. now and Hannah is probably 10 lbs.  I’ve actually had to put Kate down a couple of times because she’s gotten too heavy to hold.  She’ll be starting on size 2 diapers in the next couple of days and has outgrown her newborn clothes.  This morning she slept until 8:00.  Hannah woke up at 5:30 and I thought about waking Kate to feed her, but I thought I would just see how it played out.  It worked out great because I fed Hannah and she woke back up around 8:45.  So they put themselves on the same schedule.  Here are a couple of pictures.  I’ve also put one on here of my sister’s baby.  She is almost 29 weeks now.

Baby Rhine

Happy Hannah

Hannah

Kate

Kate

Kate

Kate

Baby Pictures January 13, 2009

So I realized that in all of the hustle and bustle of life, I haven’t taken many pictures of the girls lately.  I had a mommy “meltdown” last night.  I was looking at a picture of the girls in the NICU while I was changing Kate.  I couldn’t believe how quickly my little 2 1/2 pound girl was already an 11 pounder.  It goes so quickly.  I started crying, while George just kinda laughed at me.  Sometimes I feel like with twins, I don’t get to watch them grow up because I am constantly busy.  The next thing I know they’ll be walking.  I think that is like that with all children though.  I am just so grateful for the two little blessings God has given our family.  They enrich our lives everyday.  Kate is actually sitting in my lap “helping” me write this. 

I know that developmentally they are supposed to go by their due date, which makes them only 8 weeks old, but I think they are way ahead of the game.  Anytime I put them down on their bellies they flops over., which makes it a little difficult to do tummy time.  They have got the rolling over thing down.  Kate also can push herself up on her hands and raise her head 90 degrees, things that a 3 or 4 month old should be doing.  They both stand when you hold them up.  I am just so proud of their achievements.  They also made it from 10:45-8:00 the other night.  Of course, the next two nights, they woke me up at 5:00, but we are still working on that sleeping through the night thing. 

I put them back on a 3 hour schedule because they had been sleeping through the night and to get my milk production up.  The 3 hour schedule works except that I feel like I am constantly feeding.  The milk production part still isn’t enough for two babies.  I can produce enough for one for each meal.  It’s so frustrating and disappointing because formula costs so much.  I probably have a week left of frozen milk and then I will have to start feeding one baby formula at each meal.  I think I’ll alternate every meal as to who gets the formula.  If I figured it correctly it would cost us close to $300 a month if both babies were on just formula.  So the breastfeeding thing didn’t work out exactly as planned, but then again, nothing about my pregnancy worked out as planned, so maybe I should stop trying to make square things fit into a round hole.  I want what is best for my babies and it’s frustrating me that my body won’t do that. 

George is doing better everyday.  He’s able to put more pressure on his foot when he walks, but is still very reliant on the crutches.  He’s getting a little stir crazy because he’s cooped up in the house for most of the day.  All I have to say to that is, “Welcome to my world, honey.”  Lately, I have been having cravings for a normal life.  What I mean by normal is being able to go out and do stuff with the girls (like normal families can do), going to church on Sunday (both services), having time to spend with my husband, etc.  I know that when babies come normal changes drastically, but our normal is still not even “normal” because they are preemies and we are in the middle of RSV season.  Please don’t take this as me complaining.  I think it’s me looking back on all of the free time George and I used to have and wishing I had been more content, which is easy to say on the other side of it.  I don’t really even have regular quiet times anymore.  My day is so consumed by taking care of the babies and my house and my husband that I have really neglected my relationship with the Lord.  It’s embarassing for me to admit that considering all that He has done for us over the last year.  The other day I found myself craving time with the Lord, which is good that there is still a desire that even at all.  I am a creature of habit and routine.  I’m okay with the same ol’ same ol’ and life has been anything but that for us lately.  I am grateful that I have a relationship with a loving, forgiving, and gracious God.  He knew that my life would be this difficult and somehow He is sustaining me through it.

 

Hannah

Hannah-The Love Bug

Hannah

Hannah

Hannah

Hannah wrestling with Kate

My Little Love Bugs

Happy Love Bugs

Tummy Time

Kate

Kate-My Little Love Bug

Kate-She found her fist

Kate & Fist

Daddy Feeding Kate

Kate-Holding Her Head Up!

Kate-Tummy Time

Kate

Home Sweet Home January 8, 2009

Praise Report-George is home!  He got home on Wednesday afternoon.  His leg is looking so much better.  Most of the bruising is now just a yellow color and his foot has almost returned to normal size.  He is still in a lot of pain.  He uses crutches to get around and can’t put any weight on his left foot.  Thank you for all of your prayers in the midst of our crazy life.

We were talking with one of the nurses in the hospital and realized how much God really protected George and his co-workers from a much serious situation.  Had he gotten bit any further north on his body, he could have died or lost a limb.  Thank you, Lord, that you are our shield.  Here a couple of pictures from the day after he was bitten.  This was not the worst his leg looked.  It was the worst about a day after these pictures were taken.  You can’t see the bite itself because it was on the under side of his leg, but it just looked like two dots.

4 Months Old January 6, 2009

Hannah and Kate had their 4 month old checkup yesterday.  It’s so hard to believe they are already 4 months old.  Time goes by so quick, but I know it’s even harder to imagine them as 4 months old because they don’t act like it.  The doctor said that everything looks great.  Hannah weighs 8 lbs. 13 oz. and Kate weighs 11 lbs. 3 oz.  For her corrected age (by her due date), Kate is in the 90th % for her weight.  What a chunky monkey!  I have now nicknamed Hannah my little midget because for her corrected age, she is in the 5th % for her height.  As if she didn’t already have the Lantz shortness working against her.  They both smile a lot, giggle a little, coo, and are staring at toys. 

My other baby…George.  He’s doing much better.  He got the anti-venom on Sunday evening.  The effects were very fast and he began to feel better.  His swelling has gone down, but there is a rainbow of color along his entire leg.  His bloodwork was reading normal again and as long as it remains so, they want to get him mobile and he should be coming home in the next couple of days.  We got to sneak the girls in to see him yesterday and he loved that.  He misses them a lot. 

Thanks so much for all of your prayers.  We had no idea that this is what the Lord had planned for our family, but we trust that He is soveriegn.  We are a bit puzzled as to what “lesson” that may come from this, but we are open to His will and are just so grateful that it wasn’t worse.

George Lantz-Local Celebrity January 4, 2009

Verizon Worker gets bit by eastern diamondback rattlesnake…head news story at 5:00 and 6:00.

George and two co-workers were filling in a hole behind a fire station.  They had previously checked for snakes before they left for lunch, but one must have come while they were away.  He stepped on a pile of leaves and the snake bit him.  He said it felt like getting hit by a paintball.  He got bit in the back of the left calf, just above his boot.  He  thought it was just a stick but then saw some leaves rustling and his co-worker went after the snake with a hoe.  They killed the snake, but saved the rattle for George.  They went to the firehouse (only about 300 feet away) where the paramedics decided to fly him, via helicopter, to the local hospital.  I got a call shortly after he got bit.  At first, I had to discern if it was some sick joke, but I thought he wasn’t thoughtless enough to pull that on me.  Luckily, my mom and grandma were nearby and they took the girls for me so I could go to the hospital.  He went to St. Joseph’s and spent about 5 hours in the emergency room and was then transferred to the ICU.  He was and still is in a lot of pain, but is fairly drugged up. 

They didn’t give him any anti-venom because the venom in his blood was not high enough.  They have this scale of how bad it must be before they give the anti-venom because if it’s given it could cause adverse effects.  However, we are currently waiting on some more blood test results because the swelling, redness, and pain is continuing to move up his leg.  If the toxicologists feels there is now a need for the anti-venom, then he will get it.  The doctors say that everything that is happening is expected.  He doesn’t have any systemic effects (i.e. lower heart rate, change in blood pressure) so that is good.  Overall, his condition is good and he will live.  There is a possibility that he would have minor surgery, but that is if the swelling doesn’t go down and there starts to be muscle damage. 

I’ve been traveling back and forth to the hospital.  My parents and George’s parents are helping out a lot with the girls.  This is one time I am extremely thankful that we live near family.  It is really hard to be torn right now between being a mom and being a wife, but being a wife comes first right now. 

We really appreciate all of your prayers.  Didn’t think that we would be asking for prayers again like this, but the Lord is sovereign over this situation just like he was when Hannah and Kate were in the hospital.  Things could’ve turned out much worse.   He will probably be out of work for the next couple of weeks and is expected to be in the hospital for probably another couple of days.  Please keep praying for him.  He is in a lot of pain and deals with nausea and is having trouble sleeping for a good length of time.  I have a couple of pictures, but I’ll post those when I okay it with him and when I get a chance.

Otherwise, Hannah and Kate both have their 4 month old checkups and their pulmonary appointments tomorrow.  I’ll let you know how they are doing.

Back in the Hospital January 3, 2009

Yes, it’s true.  George was bitten yesterday by a diamondback rattlesnake.  He’s in stable condition and will be fine.  He’s just in a lot of pain.  Please be in prayer for him.  I’ll write more later and maybe even have some cool pictures to show, but for now…please pray.  You can find a link to the newstory on www.tbo.com.  Look for the article about the Verizon worker being bit by a rattlesnake.  Thanks for your prayers!  Love you guys.